All the moments between waking and sleep

There be Waves on the Horizon

2011-12-29T14:36:00.000-06:00

I am by no means a level headed person when first introduced to change. I twist through an uncomfortable revolution of anger, freak out, sadness, laziness, a wee bit of positive outlook, resignation, and then I start to believe that I can handle this.

I am right now in between the freak out and sadness phases. Now before you join me in my woes, please know that nothing dire is happening, just experiencing the change that comes with being a self employed contractor. Contracts are always slow at new years. Contract work is always changing, and for now the majority of our sources are changing for the worse. Which means Nicole and Casey have to change faster then they can for the benefit of our family.

It is very much like being forced to exercise, you know exercise is good for you, but you sure as hell hate it while you are sweating. Which means that I need writing therapy, so my words are coming back here to the blog.

Where the Nicole things are...

2011-09-02T07:13:00.000-05:00

We are two weeks into a new school year. Life has been slightly busy with new school routines, loads of homework, work ( both for me a Casey who has been local for the last 2 weeks), dogs, lack of rain and the resulting weather watching, cooking and triple checking our schedules to make sure I didn't miss anything.

But in the little moments I have been busy planning something special just for me! I can officially say that in November I will be making my first return trip to California in seven and a half years! Can you feel the excitement?! I am seriously bursting with it!

It all started with a new play list on my iPod. It was heavy with the haunting romantic duets from The Civil Wars. I jokingly quipped to Sarah that I was trying to justify a trip to Paris to see them. She replied that she could do a trip to Los Angeles, could I? And BAM there I was planning a serious trip to Cali for a concert with a friend I haven't seen in 17 years. Pretty soon we rolled a day at Disneyland into the mix and plans to be in different areas to see local friends. And it really came together when we bought plane tickets.

And that is how I will be back in California before the year end. I can barely stop myself from jumping up and down and squeeing with joy all day long!

To get a taste of what lured me out of Texas, check out this song. It is heart breaking, beautiful, and so rich with real life!

A new Brain

2011-08-15T08:13:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year, time to get a new planner! Years ago I started getting a new planner around the start of school. This one has the rest of 2011 and all of 2012.And I LOVE it! I got a Life Planner, a total splurge! The cover was customized with my name and my blog name, because really, a planner is about all the moments between waking and sleep. :)

The inside pages are beautiful, each month a new color theme, including tabs! Of course I still have my trusty to-do list, something that I always write on extra paper so I can take just that with me if I need to instead of my entire brain. :) Life is always so orderly with a new planner.

What do you schlep?

2011-08-10T16:33:00.001-05:00

I admit it, I carry around a big ole purse that is packed with stuff. I carry more now then I did when Alex was little. Lately I feel like I am carrying way more then I use to. So let's see what I have been dragging around with me lately. First, this is my Vera Bradley Bowler bag that I got for Mother's day three years ago. Now I am not a huge VB fan, but this purse is awesome, everything has a place and I can find anything with my eyes closed. That is a sign of a well designed bag.

Behold, the Goods...

After emptying everything out of my bag I was left with quite a pile of stuff!

My planner, which will be retired as of tonight since my new Life Planner is on the Fedex delivery truck as we speak!
Library Book, Godmother, cute and dark fairytale remake.
My VB wallet, LOVE it, get asked about it at least once a week.
Check book, which I usually leave at home, this guy got mixed in with some papers.
Two thumb drives, it is the core of my work.
My droid, yay smart phones.
Mentos Gum, it sure is interesting tasting.
Alex's leftover twizzler package from the movies a few weeks ago. I think I am going to chuck it.
Six pens and one Pencil.
One mini package of crayons, best dollar store find ever! It was a necessity when Alex was little, now it is just casual fun.
BB&W antibacterial gel
Colour Juice lip gloss.
Sun glasses
Name mints that Casey brought home from a business trip.
Chapstick, can't live without it.
Beaver Balm cuticle care, AMAZING stuff.
Mascara, eyeliner, brush and eyeshadow set for today. I was running late and knew I would have time to apply it at the client site.
Two hair ties
Big ass pile of random papers.
A book of Logic puzzles, fun to entertain myself with when Alex takes over my phone for Angry birds.

So at the moment, my purse is washing away grime and dirt, and I am sorting through this pile of stuff to decide what I really need to schlep around with me.

So what do you take with you everywhere?

Go away Summer.

2011-07-20T07:55:00.000-05:00

It finally rained here. It is still raining after 4 hours, little steady soaking rain. Fabulous rain. I can't tell you how giddy we are over it. I can relate to those scenes in old westerns when people would go outside and splash in rain puddles when the rains finally came for their crops. Serious water bliss right now.

This weather has shoved me hard into the "I am done with summer and the heat" camp. I am ready for Fall, for school to start, for lunches to be packed, for my Fall mantel to be setup, for Halloween to start creeping in, and for knitting to fill my hands again.

Instead, I will slog through another two and a half months of Texas summertime, which means heat and more drought. I will daydream of Fall and the coming Winter. I will tend my Companion garden ( which should go bonkers after this rain) and wait patiently for it's coming Fall harvest.

Blissed Out on rain. *happy sigh*

Dear Bucko-

2011-07-19T07:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Bucko-

I remember most the pajama's you were wearing. They were white with primary colored airplanes and clouds on them, there was red banding at your ankles and wrists. Dark tousled hair acted as a hat for your glaring frowny face. You were not about to be mollified by our smiles and silent Hello-es! Your mom was busy loading the belt with basket items, so your normal support system and shelter was distracted, you were on your own with two people staring at you. Your hands buried themselves in your armpits, arms crossed, there was no way we were welcome.

We stood with random items in our hands. Husband and Wife, kiddo at home with a sitter or at grandma's for the night, I can't remember that detail. But we were young parents, and as is the nature of young parents we thought we could baby whisper any and all kids. But the late night and grocery store atmosphere were all ready two strikes against us. Third strike came when my man dared to say How's it going kiddo?

Snap! CRACK! You slapped one hand onto the bar the other was pointed at us with force and you hollered... HEY, BUCKO!!! Like we were in trouble for daring to talk to you, so we pulled ourselves back in from our flinches, we reined in our smiles, and threw up our hands in mock surrender. You had won.

Now ten years later, you Bucko kid are probably starting to think about girls, maybe you are gearing up for your last year of middle school. You have no idea how your two words and big attitude have affected our life. Hey, bucko! is a family term, used when someone is pulling attitude and needs to be brought back to earth and all because you were grumpy in a grocery store late at night.

We thank you, Bucko Kid.

Mosaic Life

2011-07-18T06:23:00.002-05:00

1. Muffins hogging the paper 2. Rumour has It Adele, played way to loud 3. Casey has been setting his new humidor up 4. Alex's newest Lego city 5. A mama pigeon that we have been protecting 6. My corn in the morning 7. Ugly Pug beer with a pretty cute Pug 8. Pup Love 9. Snackers! 10. Pile of books to read and those I finished 11. Sausage Veggie Feta pasta 12. First day with creamer in my coffee in months!

Weekly catch up

2011-07-15T12:38:00.000-05:00

I was flying solo this week with Alex and each day had some event from appointments to work to tutoring.

Time for my listed catch up!

Alex had a dentist appointment this week, NO CAVITIES! Yippy! His last 3 2nd molars are so close to coming out. they look like bottle caps sitting on his new molars on the Xray. And how cool are Xrays?!
With the drought we are under this year all manner of critters have been coming out in search of water. I saw a BIG mouse the other night ( not a rat) so I laid glue traps all around some dog kibble and what do you know, I apparently catch a cat because one of the traps had a picture perfect paw print surrounded by fur on it. LOL, poor kitty. I caught the one thing that could HELP me get rid of the mice. Saw mice again last night, little bastards.
Casey is home early tonight, not airport late night runs for this business trip because he is driving home from Dallas, YAY! Double YAY because he hit up the Lego store while there. We have been building a stock pile of Christmas gifts for Alex since the beginning of the year.
Prissie the Pug has settled into a routine in the house. Only one tussle with Archie over a chewy that she demanded. She learned really quickly that fights like that land her in her crate for an hour.
I started my garden up again last month, this time I am embarking on Sister Companion planting. Everything has sprouted, but I lost two corn stalks to either wind or a nibbly mouse. I will need to replant those so my beans have something to climb on. So excited for the late season squash, the pumpkins, the corn, and green beans. YAY!
Alex tutoring is chugging along, I think he has a love hate relationship with the homework. It is AMAZING what he doesn't know, two weeks ago if you had asked him to identify a verb/noun/predicate/adverb he wouldn't have been able too. And this is coming from an A Language Arts student. The curriculum for this first year of private school is going to be a dozy. But we can do it together.
Okay time to finish up some chores before an afternoon appointment and Casey's homecoming! Pictures next week!

And Pug makes Five!

2011-07-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago Casey sent me a message that a friend posted on Face Book. They had a friend who needed to find a home for his Pug. She was practically perfect, but he was moving to a new apartment that didn't allow pets.

So you know what we did, we offered up our home. I talked to the guy and straight off the bat let him know that she would be #5 for us, but we had plenty of room in our house, yard, and hearts for her. Especially Alex...

She showed up yesterday with her owner, we let her mingle with the other pups and Alex, while us "adults" chatted it up. Come to find out we had all met years ago at our mutual friends house. He spent about an hour with us, said that he felt Prissie would do fabulous here and went on his way after a pause that held so much love and emotion. It wasn't an easy decision you could see that in his body language when he walked away, we all felt for him.

But now we are adjusting to life with a Pug. She is FULL of character. Has wooed Buddy. Has made Archie very protective of me. And the Big Girls just like having another girl around. She has a special bond with Alex since he likes to snuggle her and give kisses. But the Casey man, she loves for the treats and smell of BBQ that lingers around him.

It is nice having two house muffins again. I hope that Archie warms up to her so he has an indoor buddy again. He has been lonely since Betty passed away. It funny how 5 feels right. :)

Training wheels

2011-07-03T12:44:00.001-05:00

2 months and 1 week since I last posted. Let's make this first post a test post... let's see if I still have words and stories and ideas to share with you.

Alex finished 5th grade and his time in public school. We have him in tutoring for the summer to bring his knowledge up to 6th grade private school levels, so it is like school never ended for us. But it is exciting for everyone. Alex is gaining a sense of pride ( in his work and knowledge), we are gaining a sense of confidence that we can all handle the new curriculum ( Abeka, notoriously Challenging), and we have made a great friend and mentor in Alex's tutor, Mrs. Gail.

I have been working A LOT, spending 3+ days of the week out of the house, and have wrangled through a couple 5 day weeks in the last two months. It's long and tiring, but the paychecks are satisfying.

The house has therefore fallen into a general state of mess, not that it was perfect with me at home most of the time, but it sure wasn't mass chaos. We are working on systems, but they are slow and lazy due to summer temptations and the call of the pool most evenings.
Dogs are fabulous. Buddy was recently groomed where we discovered that he has an allergic reaction to the chlorine in the pool. Poor dude doesn't get to swim with us, which has become a favorite treat for him and Bella.
Steve the Hedgie has been ACTIVE, more active then I can remember him ever being. I think the heat drives him out of his house for long cool water breaks through out the day. I find him most mornings sleeping on his wheel soaking up the AC that blows right there into his cage.

Crafting: I have been stitching a lot lately, making a large panel of little birds. Love it, it's like magic. Sarah, has feed my desire by sending me a stash of patterns that I have planned for smaller, quicker projects. Enabler! :)
We had a string of three guests over three weeks, each coming and going independently, fabulous to see them all, but whew, it is tiring playing guest all the time.

I have been trying to do one thing each week that I have put off for months/years. So I finally hung the mantel mirror and put on the knobs to the bathroom cabinets upstairs. Neither one was hard, but I just never "got around" to it. This week, I want to finish up the touch up paint around the fireplace.

Okay, time to go work on Fourth of July treats. More to come... something special tomorrow!

Up to Speed

2011-04-26T16:21:00.001-05:00

My virtual life sure slowed down, I dropped off every social instrument and focused on my day to day. It was great, refocusing, soothing, eye opening. I highly recommend it. But over the last week I have felt myself increasing my speed, getting back to where I was minus all the Facebook distractions. I actually want to write here again and have a mental list of posts and memory features.

I have been spending lots of time at my desk, working on new projects, prepping new teaching subjects, finishing up this semester of school ( easiest one yet!), and crunching financial numbers. The dogs have been in the house more and more due to the early heat here in Texas. They make a ring of four around my chair and jump up the second I shift, ready to follow me around. It's sweet, but makes for a mess of activity around my feet when I walk around.

My organizer has been neglected, so I brought it all up to speed, added event after event, bills, menu plans, and Alex events through the end of the school year. I have been toting it along with me everywhere again, it's my brain while my mind is busy with other thoughts.

We are finishing up Alex's stint in public school with fun events like the 5th grade EconMall, where he is making pet rocks to sell. Class parties are all ready being planned and the final state test will be on Thursday. We keep hearing nightmare stories of school district budget cuts. While I feel for our friends that are going through this issue, I am so so so glad that we made the early decision to put Alex in private school through 8th grade. We are all relaxed, excited about the change, and ready for what this new experience will bring.

Let's finish up with a small list of my current loves:

Foo Fighters! We watched a bi optic about them a couple weeks ago and now I can't stop myself from singing their songs, especially All My Life. Fabulously cathartic!
Fiction, I have pealed through four hefty books during my absence, and now have a big stack waiting in my office and more to pick up from the Library.
Buddy's new haircut, he looks like a little lamb to me. So much that I am always picking him up for a snuggle just to feel his soft short fur on my hands. Like silk!
The pool, we have been swimming for the last two weeks, the weather is THAT hot all ready. I don't think it has been this hot this early since we have lived here. Whew, we need rain.
Fresca, the Peach Citrus, I feel like an old lady buying it, but I just LOVE the taste. Yummers!
Feeling like I am back in the saddle, but not the same me, a new and improved me!

What will today bring?

2011-04-14T10:15:00.003-05:00

I was six years old and in our living room was a big black garbage bag full of my birthday presents. It was ugly and beautiful at the same time because I knew that every item in it was for me, to celebrate my birth. I stretched my body out on the carpet in front of that bag, staring at the odd corners and panels of the wrapped presents as they poked at me, temptingly. My mother relented to my nonstop questions and let me open one gift. The first birthday gift I remember. It was a set of bangle bracelets and hair combs in rainbow plastic. I found one last comb in my bathroom drawer when I was moving out of my parents house. I remember none of the other tempting gifts in that bag.

I was ten, finally at a critical age that I had been looking forward too. I use to watch Shirley Temple movies as often as they came on AMC. In The Little Princess, she makes a comment about turning ten and says that she is finally in the double digits. I squirreled away that phrase for years, and right after I blew all ten candles out on my cake, I declared ( just like Shirley) I am FINALLY in the double digits! My Dad laughed and laughed, my mom sliced my cake and piled all ten candles on the side for me to lick the icing off of.

I was fourteen and having a sleepover. It was perfect in that Sweet Valley High way. My friends, fun movies, Ojai boards and ghost stories. I had only requested one thing, an ice cream cake. My mom picked it up and because she had just stocked up the freezer she placed the frozen cake in the fridge instead of making space in the freezer. When it came time to cut the cake, we took it out of the fridge, popped open the pink bakery box and a flood of melted ice cream and ruined icing flowers flowed off the counter and onto the floor. We let our dog eat up the mess. I think I still am mad about that cake.

I was sixteen, my first birthday with a boyfriend ( Casey). In between drama and math I went to his locker to retrieve a book. His locker was in the middle of the campus and my was buried by the weight lifting room, so I used his locker for all of my junior year. I opened the door with its squeaky hinge and inside was a single rose, pink and yellow, perfect. Later there was dinner in front of the fireplace with a meal he cooked himself and his sweet family trying to sneak by on the way to the garage so we could celebrate alone. I still remember the smile on my (now) brother in laws little face at the candle light and fire place.

I was twenty one and finally able to order a drink, legally. I went to an Irish pub, ordered a Black and Tan, spit it out, and promptly ordered a strawberry margarita. I still can't drink Black and Tans, even though I think I want too. It was early afternoon and the entire day was planned out as a boozey introduction to my new age. I don't remember if we drank ourselves into oblivion, but I do remember placing my perfect pink drink on an old bar coaster in an out of place bar. It was so very like me.

I was twenty three, a new mom, with 2 month old Alex by my side. I remember nothing of the day except laying in my bed with Alex in the early morning, tracing his face and thinking that I was ten years younger than my mom was when she had me. I still think of Alex's birthday as being 2 months and a smidge more before mine.

I was thirty and not quite stressing about changing the first digit of my age, but stressing a little bit. I was leaving my twenties, sad to lose that youth. But I had done SO MUCH in my twenties, had a baby, got married, moved to Texas, bought a house, started our own business, but all of a sudden I was thirty. That number stuck in my head for months and months. A label of age. All of a sudden wrinkles, weight, mom jeans, and thinking that I was old was on my mind.

Last year I was thirty three, a birthday that is non monumental, just a number, a neatly organized match set number. My day was full of work and tae kwon do for Alex, Casey was on a trip, and my day glazed by. I was at that point when my birthday seemed more like a time to set goals then to celebrate, so I made a list of 33 things to do in my 33rd birth year. I don't even think I tackled a tenth of that list. But oh what fun I had making it!

Today, I am thirty four. And I can't wait to write what the day will bring me.

Tidal

2011-04-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

There are times when I can barely contain the words and thoughts that my brain churns out. I open my mouth to breathe and I come tumbling out. Then there are times when I sit centered for days and feel not a flutter of comment or commentary. I have been in one of these tides for over a month now. A month of refocus, a time to break old habits, a time to think about my words before they leave my control.

This time has been good for me, a time that has shown me many relationships and events in my life that are tidal in their nature. Friendships, I always seem to be in flux with one or another at any given time. Whether it be purposeful distancing on my part or a retreat after a deep cut, but this time it has been neither. I have slowed down and changed. In this ebb certain friendships have stood out like gems in a tidal pool. One, that is fabulously nurturing, even at an extreme distance. Another that was lost for years, and one call made all our teenage dreams rush back. Neither one is a day to day friendship, both have days/weeks between contact, but that contact is steady and deep.

Others are on their downward slopes, not to an end, but to a low tide. Our lives are different, and difference does make a difference. Our time is weighed on scales that do not match. Maybe months or years from now, we will be in another phase, but for now I have accepted their change. I know that these ends don't have to be tragic and hurtful.

My birthday is soon, and I have been so much more aware of my age this time. Not of my aging, but of what my accomplishments are. Not of what I could have done, but of what I am going to do. The ebb and flow of me, the Nicole in my mind. I am coming into a high tide, and I am looking forward to it.

Art is the Stored Honey of the Human Soul

2011-03-20T13:39:00.000-05:00

Things have been quiet around the blog here because it has been Spring break and we are living outside instead of warming ourselves within the walls of our house.

Alex has been creating...

Buddy has been getting dirty enjoying the warmer weather...

The dogs have been loved on...

The Botanical gardens have been explored...

The orchids have been amazing...

Steve has come out of his winter home...

We explored SAMA...

Maybe in the next couple of weeks like on this blog will get back to normal. But in the mean time I will be gardening, picture taking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and reading. Basically enjoying Spring to the fullest!

Just call me Ma Dean!

2011-02-28T07:28:00.000-06:00

I undertook something this weekend that I have been planning to do for a while. Weeks ago my mom asked me to look up how to make butter. She use to do it way back in the day but apparently those brain cells have evaporated. So I relied on my old friend Google to give me/her the details. It was as simple as I thought it was going to be. Seriously... simple... with tasty results.

Let the world hear me now... I made Butter! And that butter will land right on my hips after it passes my lips!

To make butter:

Add heavy whipping cream to a blender. Let it sit out to room temperature first. Now most recipes call for a pint, I just used the cup that I had leftover from a different recipe.
Blend on the lowest/slowest setting you have. Do NOT go to a higher setting or else you will end up with whipped cream. For a while your mixture will look very much like whipped cream, but stay patient. Mine took 10 minutes start to finish. Some websites say half an hour.
Scrap down the sides of the pitcher every once in a while. My mixture would thicken up and the blades would make a "bubble" which meant there was a thick outer layer that was not being blended. Enter spatula.
At about 10 minutes in my mixture separated into defatted liquid (called buttermilk, not at all like commerically available buttermilk) and THE BUTTER ( which had all the fat, thank goodness!)
Drain off the liquid and then I blended a bit more to make sure I was getting out as much liquid as possible.
Now at this point you can drain your butter into cheese cloth, squeezing out any excess buttermilk. And then you can rinse the dense butter ball under cold water... but I didn't do either and my butter was still mighty fine butter.
Put your new butter in a bowl/crock/container. Wrap in plastic wrap and freeze till you need it.

Seriously, it was easy. Hardest part was ignoring the blender sounds for 10 minutes. I felt a little like Ma Ingle's channeling Paula Dean. I will happily wear that combo hat again!

Our neighbors might hate us...

2011-02-25T14:11:00.000-06:00

The weather has been great.

Improvements have been made to the house.

Cleaning is going on full force.

The windows were open all weekend long.

Spring Cleaning Fever has officially hit our house.

Casey decided to tackle the twice yearly Driveway power wash.

So we tag teamed it for 3+ hours.

We even kept going and did the sidewalks in front of our property and the curbs.

Now we have the greenest lawn and whitest driveway in the neighborhood.

I think we might be "those" people.

I like being those people.

*grin*

Have you ever?

2011-02-16T07:57:00.000-06:00

Have you ever?

Explained to your son that his soul is like a lit candle inside of him, and when he is crazy and wild the flame is flickering and snapping to and fro. So you teach him how to calm down and imagine his flame still and steady and lo! it shines brighter? I have.
Loved your dog so much that the span of time he has left with you seems so short, so you hold tighter and focus on the fur that grows between his toes making his feet look like fur bell bottoms? I have.
Cooked so many varied meals in one weekend that the leftover day further in the week is like eating from a gourmet buffet? I have.
Dreamed of nursing a new baby, not your current baby, one who is fresh and different but so similar to your own that you wake up holding your breathe in that way that mothers have while watching their little ones at their most tender moments? I have.
Gone out on a limb to see if new possibilities are possible and you wait and wait and the waiting is an odd type of torture because you know once the wanted response comes, everything will change? I have.
Poked your finger into the soil and popped a seed into the pocket, watered it, and played hippie music to help your new plants grow? I have.
Felt a step ahead, but not a full step just the space of movement where you were not where you were, but you are not where you will be? I have.
Celebrated that it is trash day because you missed trash day last week and the can is ready to be empty? I have.
Missed someone who is long gone, who won't respond, who is not a good balance, but you still want to reach out again anyways? I have.
Paused and realized that those in your life at this exact moment are only there because you finally nurtured those who are good for you, and you see that each one is a love? I have.

A mid February List

2011-02-13T15:14:00.000-06:00

It's been unTexas like cold for the past couple of weeks. We had Snow! And more hard freezes then I can remember.
Gloves and scarves and hats have become part of our daily wear.
Flowers have popped up in places. Casey's early Valentine Tulips make me smile in each room.
Comfort foods like stews and potatoes and rich meats are all that we consume in this cold.
I had a fire in the fireplace for 3 days straight, loved it!
I picked up Alex and lifted him into the balloons and ribbons at the grocery store the other day. It was a perfect moment for Lucy in the sky with Diamonds to be playing. Our store has good music. :)
Alex had a birthday sleepover, three boys means lots of fart jokes and burping. Good times.
I broke my pinky toe on the birthday party night, Good Lord it hurt!
Tried Bikram Yoga for the first time. Even with the 104+ temps, the slave drive of an instructor, and the lack of fitness on my part, it was amazing. Totally going back, would have today, but I am so sore.
Casey is home with a string of local jobs, love it!
Garden planning, prepping, and seed starts are in full swing!

Pantry Purged!

2011-01-30T22:13:00.000-06:00

The pantry, our land of plenty, closet for beloved kitchen appliances, and the quickest spot in the house to become an absolute MESS! I spent about two hours in here tonight, purging, cleaning, stopping a sugar ant invasion, and organizing what had fallen into chaos.

Ummm, I don't know what to say.

But look at this, FLOOR!!!

Now before ya'll get all crazy on us about the amount of food we stock, just know that we do eat it and we do rotate it each time we purchase. In fact I only found 4 items that had passed their expiration date. Woo Hoo! My mom always had a FULLY stocked pantry, fridge and freezer when I was growing up ( she still does), so this seems "normal" to me. We could eat out of here for probably 4-6 months. So if a Zombie invasion happens, we at least know we won't be eating the dogs. *grin*

Slightly Sleeping with the Enemy-ish, but we can see what we have without searching.

And yeah, my kitchen appliance and tools stock is pretty well full. In fact I actually told me mom tonight that I didn't want the newest must have from William Sonoma. I could do without it. I think she thinks I lost my mind. :)

Finally, the kid plates are up on a shelf and I only have a small corner of floorspace occupied.

The only thing I can say about this massive pile of kitchen purge is, well, it seems so so so wasteful. It IS wasteful. And I am sorry about it. We have had many of these items for years and years, some are duplicates, some are literally hand me downs that date to the 70's ( hello yellow salad spinnner), but none of them get used .

Insane Kitchen Overload.

So into the car these will go tomorrow morning to be dropped off at Good Will with the rest of my donation collection. I know I have purged well over the 111 item goal for the challenge. I know I could purge MORE if I look in certain places in our house. I also know that this month long project has really made me think about what we have, what we use, and what we really need. Thanks Jenny for such a great growing experience!

Week at a glance, 1/31

2011-01-30T16:55:00.000-06:00

Birthday planning, days left empty, working, eating, checking, and living.

Sunday Us

2011-01-30T16:54:00.000-06:00

Cartoons, Lego, Pj's

Grass is the place to play

Coffee, the elixer of life

Onion starts, ready in April

I spy Penny's eye

Furry beast

Dog food blissed Bells

Ebb & Flow

2011-01-26T19:45:00.000-06:00

January 2011 has been a doozy for this family sickness wise. I started off the month sick and it lasted for 3 weeks. Alex started getting sick-ish this weekend, we couldn't get a Doctor's appointment till today. Turns out he has Bronchitis and will be on 4 meds for the next month and then 2 for a month after that. He has allergies and during Mountain Cedar season here in Texas it is very easy to relapse into bronchitis with allergy attacks, hence the two months of meds.

I can't wait for us to flow into a healthier season, one without major allergy attacks and colds and coughs and hopefully higher temps.

Week at a Glance

2011-01-23T16:01:00.001-06:00

One week in our life, busy busy. A week before an 11th birthday. A week of meals. A week of "normal" work. The last week of the 111 Project. I love the positive thinking that comes from planning.

Rainbow Roots

2011-01-22T16:57:00.000-06:00

A cold winter morning with a warm cheery friend at the Farmer's market is a great way to spend a Saturday. Kim and I were out the door with the dawn, on the grounds early to tour the stands with local roasted coffee in hand. The bell rang and the stands started selling! I brought home a RAINBOW of veg.

Rainbow carrots
Red, Yellow and Orange Beets
Rainbow Swiss Chard
Parsnips
Brussel Sprouts
Red and White Spring Onions

There is a new vendor at our farmer's market that made my heart pitter patter, a PIG vendor. I brought home some Czech style bacon and have an order in for a nice pork belly and English style bacon in two weeks. He also has sausages, homemade mustards, pickles, and is playing around with even more bacons. Hmmmm, I am in oinky heaven.

I rounded out the bag with a fresh loaf of Ciabatta and a loaf of Cheddar Jalapeno Sourdough. Of course a sit down and chat with a chocolate croissant made the morning perfect. :) Happy meals are in the works.

Winter Blues make me think of Green

2011-01-19T14:53:00.000-06:00

Winter has set it's slender cold fingers around our house. The weather is dark and moody, cold and damp. Nature is sleeping, dreaming of warmer days which will come all too soon. But I am a step ahead.

The grey and charcoal and deep blues make me daydream of greens and reds and rich blacks. I contemplate seeds and tools, planning for abundance, hording these ideas in my mind. The chill hardy lettuce is tempting me outside. It's huge and lush and tauntingly fresh on these cold cold days.

I ignore it's teases and flirts, knowing that winter is it's only time to shine in Texas heat. So I have been spending my Winter Days plotting out future meals in the rich soil. Thumbing through seed catalogs, scrolling through sites, and calculating needs for wood and soil and space. Happily, these thoughts are warming even when the winds outside are chilly.

Dust Bunnies Attack!

2011-01-18T17:00:00.000-06:00

Casey casually mentioned a couple days ago that our curtains in the bedroom could use a turn through the washing machine and then he noticed the dust on the blinds and before he could actually LOOK at more dusty places I distracted him with talk of Fried Egg Sandwiches. ( which are my new favorite obsession right now, ever since I woke up in the middle of my sickness and wanted a fried egg that was runny. I never eat runny eggs, but that egg was heaven. Bliss!)

So today while he tackled the lawn ( we seed with winter rye which means the lawn is brilliant green all winter long and needs to be mowed), I tackled the mentioned curtains and blinds. Which led to the windows, to the baseboards, to the bedding, to the mattress, to the area behind the bed, to the ceiling fan and its dirty glass globes, to the bookcase, to the dresser top, to the vanity, to my makeup brushes, and finally the carpet. Whew!

Hey, where did the chair go?

I found more dust then I ever imagined I would. The hordes of dust bunnies breeding behind our bed was the stuff made of nightmares. The sheet of dust that came off the top of the ceiling fan blades was shocking. Let's not even talk about the dust that was behind the books in the bookcase. So now the new air purifier is cranked, the light is twinkling through clean glass and the bed is ready to be remade.

Mid cleaning, but most of the dust is gone at this point! Hooray!

I took a turn through our master closet since it is on my radar for the 111 item purge and all I came up with was a pair of pants and one shirt. Casey sides is off limits, unless I can talk him into purging all the shirts he never wears and the overflowing sock bins could use some work. I think I need to get in there and really contemplate the items of clothing hanging from the bars. And of course start digging through the giant green tub hiding in the back corner... but a couple weeks ago I did purge our toiletry tower and trashed a huge bag of old cosmetics and body care items. Progress!

111 in 1/2011 Catch up

2011-01-17T15:09:00.000-06:00

Finally after close to two weeks sick I am able to post an update to the 111 items in January 2011 challenge. I immediately dove into my office closet, which is probably the worst offender on my goal list. I pulled everything out and took down the folding table that was really just giving me more space to junk up. I still want to sort through this closet, but the bulk of the purge is done. Now I just need to organize and shift through the small piles for more donation items.

Estimation of items Donated : 40

Estimation of items trashed: 100

The bookcase is looking a bit better, there is actually space on it now. I removed all my yarn except for two bins of in progress projects. The more I look at my books the more I want to purge, so I know this bookcase will get another sort through in the final week!

This week I will tackle the pantry and finish up the Master Closet!

Sick bed...

2011-01-16T14:57:00.000-06:00

I have been really sick these past 13 days. I have done nothing more than lay in bed or on the couch in a Nyquil coma. Full blown flu and then laryngitis to add insult to injury. Casey and Alex have been holding down the fort, managing the day to day, meals, dogs, and the sicky.

But as of yesterday I am feeling on the mend. I was able to get up, do some laundry, shower because I wanted to be clean not because I wanted heat and steam, eat more than one meal, and actually skipped a medicine dose! Today is even better, I fell into the morning routine before I even realized what I was doing. The paper was retrieved from the lawn, the coffee was perking, the dogs were out and running around, and Casey wasn't even down stairs yet!

It feels fabulous to be inching closer to a healthy me. And I dropped about 10 pounds during this flu , bonus!

January 2011 masthead

2011-01-03T08:11:00.001-06:00

Hello Reality. This year for all my mastheads, I am going to post pictures of me cause I want too. No Photoshopping allowed. So welcome* the wrinkles and crow feet and dark circles and ruddy skin. Welcome to Nicole ala Reality. *grin*

* edited to change ingore to Welcome, per Nicole's suggestion because really it's just a passage of time. Time that holds a marriage, a child, my life. Thanks friend!

New Years Eve, perfect

2011-01-01T14:59:00.000-06:00

We spent New Years Eve at home this year, just like years past. There is a comfort to ringing in a new year within our own walls, with our cooking, our libations, our family and friends. If last night is any indication to have 2011 will be like for us, then we are in for a great year.

Me, tired, happy and anticipating a new year.

Casey, Master and Commander for all things fun.

Alex, a blur all night, there were way too many Nerf fights, snacks, and fireworks to explode to slow down.

Kim, girlie girl with the Fouey pup. The background image is a great peek into the crazy times we had.

Robert, Copilot and instigator of craziness.

The Mess to Success Project

2010-12-31T15:38:00.001-06:00

In tandem with my own little New Years listy goals, Sunny told me about a project to purge 111 items from my home during 1/11. Neato I said! With just the four household messes listed above I should no problem hitting that 111 mark. I will check in each Friday during January to see how my mess to success mission is going.

Thanks to Jenny at Words on Wendhurst for such a great idea!

Trimming the Life Fat

2010-12-28T18:22:00.000-06:00

It's Limbo week, that odd week of the year where the holidays are over and the New Year has yet to start, which means everything is in reflection. I have all ready made my prep list and have moved on to thinking about what I would like to cut out of my life in the next year. For a girl who loves lists, this is the perfect mental workout!

Tangable:

Facebook games, I admit it, I love to zone out on Frontierville. The missions, the cropping, the holiday events, it's a vice AND a mega time waster. It takes away time I could be spending with my family, on my house, cooking recipes from the stack of cookbooks we have, gardening, puppy playing, LIFE.
Couch time, the TV is ALWAYS on. Time to make some rules about when the TV is on and what is being watched.
Paperwork, the sheer amount of paper, mail, contracts, reciepts that we have/store is CRAZY! I want to start purge and organizing this better than it currently is. Maybe even look into Neat Reciepts again.
Clutter, it is everywhere, enough said.
Processed STUFF, think foods, sodas, snacks, ice creams, etc. I know how to make all that stuff, so I need to just make it instead of buy it.

InTangable:

Stress, I am my own worst enemy. I CREATE stress for some stupid reason. New Mantra= Less Stress is More Living
Anxiety, which is closely related to stress. I can work myself up over just about anything.
Arguements, I have slowly been realizing that many of the arguements that I am involved in, I start. Ouch!
Cursing, yeah I can and do sound like a sailor. Time to stop, I want to sound as educated and classy as I really am.
Expectations, I hold a high bar to everyone else but myself. So I want to drop other's bar and pick mine up.

Obviously, my New Year is working towards making a New Me.

The Art of Preparing for a New Year

2010-12-27T16:46:00.001-06:00

Every year like clock work, around 5pm on Christmas Day, I get a strong urge to organize, clean, declutter, plan, prepare, and make loads of lists. This year was no different. My mind has been swirling with ideas and plans for 48 hours, so here is my list of prep to be completed by the New Year, with a grace period of course.

The Prep List

Set up a new Bill Box, Receipt Box, and Contract Box for 2011
Organize and prep for storage the 2010 boxes listed above.
Purge the Pantry.

Mini Goal: Get everything up off the floor.

Take down Christmas!

Organize the storage of Christmas
Label storage Boxes.

Make a list of what is needed for Next Christmas and tape to Ornament Box
Prep Spring decoration box
Paint fireplace and touch up blue walls.
Hang Mantel Mirror and setup a candle decoration
Organize, Purge, and deep clean Master Closet.
Organize, Purge, and deep clean all bathrooms
Super clean the Fridge and Freezer.
Organize and Purge books.

Take books to resale store.

Take Donations to Goodwill, AFTER the New Year
Organize my office closet.

Whew! I am going to be busy.

The Christmas Elves

2010-12-26T15:05:00.000-06:00

Alex's Winter Wonderland

This is the first Christmas that Alex has displayed a bit of "I know who Santa really is" wisdom, which really meant that his Christmas Magic level was a little low. So I cooked up this idea to make a ton of snowflakes and hang them in his room on Christmas Eve so he would wake up to a Winter Wonderland.

We had our good friends Kim and Robert over on Christmas Eve night, so we put them to work with paper and scissors and crafted a bunch of Snowflakes. Elf Kim up'ed the anty by bringing a bag of glitter snow which was scattered all over his room to make it look like Narnia.

The hilarity was barely contained while we tried to be quiet hanging these up in his room, but we were successful because Alex didn't wake up at all!

These are the memories I hope he will never forget. These are the things that we love to do as Parents, make things just a bit more special.

His snowflake room makes us all smile, which is exactly what we aimed for.

Foiled, but I am still Happy!

2010-12-25T21:41:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago I dared myself to post through the month of December so I could start off 2011 with my 800th post. Then I got the Mother of All Colds, which is still hanging around in the form of an irritating cough.

Regardless, I am still Happy.

Christmas with my family was Happy, Fun, Sweet, & Good.

Now I am in that weird limbo between the MEGA holiday and a New Year, and I feel like I should be making lists and goals and plans.

But all I can think about right now is taking a hot hot bath with a good book and playlist.

782- All most thwarted!

2010-12-09T20:56:00.000-06:00

Whew, that was a close one, I got sick yesterday and wasn't able to post.

Because all I was able to do was lay on the couch under a down comforter, with two dogs piled around me, a glass of water just out of reach, the remote, and a pile of phones. I only surfaced to greet Alex at the door after school, and to shovel some of Casey's cooking in my stomach, and then I passed out again.

I had to work today, like REAL work, as in I needed to get fully dressed and presentable because it wasn't virtual work. Of course the first time I have to do this in 6 months I am dog ass sick.

Enter the love of my cracked out existence, Dayquil tabs. I am so wired on DQ right now that if I stop and look at something with a pattern, my vision gets all sketchy. No joke.

Casey asked me if I am at the heart palpitation part yet. Said like a true veteran of must work a contract while deathly sick days. I am not that bad yet, but I could be if I dose myself one more time. So I won't. Instead I am going to go sit in a hot tub, rub Vicks on my chest, drink a gallon of water, and crawl into bed. Before 9pm.

I have 5 minutes to enact my plan!

19 to go!

2010-12-07T14:59:00.000-06:00

I have been blogging/journaling for a long time. I started off on LiveJournal and moved here to Blogger years ago when I wanted to open my blog up to more readers without requiring a login. Well today's post marks my 781st post here at All the Moments. I can hardly believe it! Apparently I have a lot to say! So I have challenged myself to end the year strong by posting 19 more times in the next 24 days so I can start the new year with post 800!

My Rules*:

No picture only posts. Feels like a cop out to me. Maybe i can bend this one for Christmas day.
Only 2 listed posts, or else I will just be random poster girl.
At least 1 post per family member, cause they are so special to me, and I sometimes forget to talk about them in the midst of talking about me.
1 Final Day in the Life post for 2010.

I am excited! Any suggestions of posts for me?

* I need rules cause I will bend and break them if I don't establish them. :)

Tangled no More

2010-12-05T14:59:00.000-06:00

I did it! Ignore my puffy eyes, I had a horrible allergy attack.

I have had long hair FOREVER! Like really long, it touched the top of my waist band. It had gotten to the point that it was always in my way, getting tangled, and was a headache maker. So this past week I got the idea in my head to donate it it all to Locks of Love. I checked out their site, measured my hair, and then promised to find someone to cut it. The very next day I mentioned it to my friend Kim, who also has very long hair, and she said her stylist will cut and style our hair for free if we donate! Next thing we know, we have a double appointment on Friday.

I have a lot of thick hair, isn't this crazy?!

I ended up cutting off 14 inches and coloring my hair a shade darker due to a ton of sun and pool damage. I LOVE the shorter length, it's sassy and light and fun. Now I just need to get my donation in the mail and practice drying my hair. :)

What keeps us going

2010-11-30T08:46:00.000-06:00

Twinkle Light in the morning

Cliches have been sliding through my thoughts lately. Phrases like Hope Floats, a Man is an Island unto Himself, It's always greener on the other side of the fence, even lyrics like "Hearts and Hands and Smiles". All these unbidden ideas have been surfacing in the waters around my shores ( to continue the island idea).

When he left for work today and we exchanged Good Byes and answered final queries, I shut the door and wrapped my hands around my warm mug and thought to myself that we were islands, drifting parallel, stopping to discover each other like Unique Columbuses. We tied our anchors to each other and set down roots to hold our islands steady. Alex erupted like an undersea volcano, breaching into his own island, one that is docked between us till he is ready to drift on his own. His island wild and young, green and loud. Close to cultivating civilizations and deep dark forests. Our jobs to buffer him from the world's storms and open him to the world's calms. A trio of Islands, clustered, harboring and holding.

So what keeps us going through the storms and calms. Cliches once again rose to the surface of my mind. One after another, they based themselves on a simple concept. Easy to grasp when you do it blindly with faith. Hard to grasp when your eyes try to focus and direct. Hope. It keeps us going with every motion and plan. We wake up and Hope that there is coffee. We plan and plot and outline the best possible course, and Hope that our life follows that chart. We send prayers and well wishes across the miles, sheltered in bubbles of Hope. We Hope that the cake tastes as good as it looks. Our trust is draped in Hope. Our love is unlimited in Hope.

I wonder what we can accomplish if we openly and purposefully see the Hope in every situation? Would the storms batter at us with duller edges? Would the sunshine be brighter and more crisp? Would our roots pull up and tangle themselves beneath our islands, nesting us together as we drift? Or would Hope thicken and deepen our roots, settling them into the core below?

Irregardless, Hope is here. It feds us, shelters us, softens us, strengthens us. So maybe, just maybe, Hope is actually the waters that we Float upon.

Snippets of Love, Life and Loss

2010-11-29T08:12:00.000-06:00

My Mother in Law was here during the Thanksgiving week and let me just say, I Love That Woman! She is calm and supportive and funny and open. We all miss her and can't wait to see her again.
Casey has been busting his ass to learn a new class to teach and test out on. Scratch that, TWO new classes to teach and test. His first test is this coming Saturday with the second having to be done by the end of year. He is literally the best study-er I have ever seen.
Our Grand Am blew up this weekend, it broke a piston rod, which makes it nothing but scrap to us. Luckily the service manager at our repair shop wants to buy it, so all I have to do is take him the title, sign it over, get some cash, clean out our stuff and hand over the keys. She was our growing up car, she hauled us all over the place ever since Alex was a newborn. Good memories, good car.
Our neighbors Yorki was hit by a car this weekend and died. We were the first ones there and Casey was in the process of moving her when they came home. It was horrible, I have never seen someone grieve like she did. The parents were out of town for the holiday week so it was just the daughters at home, both in their early twenties, but neither having had to deal with something like this before. We tried to do as much as we could to help. Casey handled the body and cleaned up the street as best as he could. I tried to direct traffic and help the younger sister help her older sister. There are so many what-ifs and I-told-you-so's for this accident, but the thing that I want to take away from it all is to make sure that our pets are always secure, collared, and safe. It was just so sad and so needless. We both came in the house and snuggled our little pups all night.
I have been putting together a playlist of music that MAKES me want to move. Like The Killers, Things that I have done, omg that song puts a wiggle in my pants like nothing else. And the Ranconteurs Old Enough. And HELLO Aerosmith's Dude looks like a lady! And I must admit that Fergie's Glamorous is way up there too! All in an effort to shake my booty to a smaller size. :)
I finished a HUGE crochet project this past week, a gift for my SIL's. I totally forgot to get a picture of it. It feels great to wrap up a big project like that.
Steady work starts up for me again next week, which is FABULOUS. I am really looking forward to teaching live classes again. And a steady/bigger paycheck is always welcome.

Noticing the Home.

2010-11-18T09:26:00.000-06:00

Perfect Autumn light.

I feel like I am saturated in the elements of my home. I have been noticing all the small details that make this place ours, the objects and views that are so familiar they are all most like loved ones. The daylight hours have shortened and it seems like Mother Nature has decided to make each light filled moment that much more special. Everything is golden, crisp, clear, and vibrant in these moments of seasonal death. Celebrating their lives instead of their demise.

Keeping Archie occupied with bird watching.

I am in the midst of cleaning for family visits, my mother in law arrives early next week. I am pushing towards that moment of clean when I can start "homing", making cozy niches and pleasing scenes. Piling quilts and towels, placing candles and glittering objects. Homing our house, creating comfort and cozy.

A glance into the kitchen that spoke to me of home.

Moving from room to room I keep noticing snippets that speak of us, the people who make the family within these walls. Coats and socks left out look loved and warm. Books and papers look inviting and interesting. The corner of the couch looks just left with lingering warmth. Puppies, like living hot water bottles, are at the ready for snuggling and mindless touches. Between all these bouts of cleaning and purging I see our life in the scenes of living within these walls.

I am so very Thankful for this life and those who share it with me.

Stopping for the signs...

2010-11-14T13:35:00.000-06:00

I had a moment today when I realized that I need to stop for the signs more often. I need to listen for His whispering more. I need to acknowledge the not so subtle nudges and the blatant whammies. When the remote won't switch to the next song, just stop and listen. When my voice is low even when I am at my highest volume, just stop and listen to what is said. When I want and pine and need and crave, just stop and focus in through all that desires to find the core.

I blaze through thoughts, words and moments to get to what? What is truly so important that I can not savor words and memories and time? The point, the savoring of all the inbetweens...

The Fog has Arrived...

2010-11-12T10:18:00.000-06:00

Planning

2010-11-11T12:10:00.000-06:00

About this time of year I get a new planner. In years past I was a die hard fan of one type, but have branched out to other planners of the same style. I love to have sections of each of us and I really dislike planners that break down the day into hours.

I found this new planner a couple weeks ago and I LOVE IT! It has a everything I want/need in a planner and most importantly I use it. :) Due to this new planner I am on the ball for Thanksgiving, most of my prep for MIL visit is done, and Christmas is all most completely purchased and planned for! Fabulous if you ask me!

The Final Walkabout

2010-11-04T21:13:00.000-05:00

It has taken me a little while to be able to write about Betty. I miss her, I keep spying her out of the corner of my eye, in nearly every room. I even heard her for the first week and would reach down absent mindedly to stroke her head. She has been gone for three weeks now. It only took us an hour to see the huge puzzle piece that was newly missing from our life. She was a large part of our daily living, especially at the end when she needed so much medical care. I selfishly think to myself that I could have gone on cleaning, disinfecting, wrapping, and praying for her. But Betty couldn't have, she was miserable enough at the end.

She took one long walk about around the yard with all of us, people and pups. She explored the watermelon bed, crunched through the falling leaves, rooted her nose into Bella's legs to move her along. She stopped by Alex's heels, licked a hello and wandered on. She followed Penny and walked shoulder to shoulder with Archie. She drifted into Casey hand and rub. She kept her face down to the ground, inhaling all the scents that make up our home.

I like to think of her in that last hour on her walk about around the yard, instead of the true last hour of her life. She went blessedly quick, with my arms wrapped around her and Casey and Alex's kisses lingering on her head.

She is truely and deeply missed.

Hello November

2010-11-03T16:56:00.000-05:00

I am loving this month, yes we are only 3 days in, but there are so many great things to look forward to in November for our family. Lots of work, new contracts finalizing, my mother in law coming for Thanksgiving week, the end of fall semester for me, a week off for Alex, and the last of our Christmas shopping completed! Not to mentioned cooking loads of fabulous food!

I took down all the Halloween stuff this afternoon. I had said that we would leave it up for another week, but I was just OVER it. I love Halloween and all the excitement it brings to Casey and Alex, but it just felt wrong to leave it all up ( even though we had only finished decorating inside on the 30th). so I put it all away and discovered in the process a bag of Autumn goodness that I had bought last year on clearance. I had completely forgotten all about until I spied some of the glittery goodness peaking out of a bin that I thought just held random holidays. talk about Autumn bliss!

So I put it up and added our pumpkins of all sorts, the flame less candles and our little squirrel candle holder. Happy Happy Autumn!!

* Ignore the touch up painting I need to do around the fireplace, I can barely contain the groans when I think about more painting.

The weekend in hindsight

2010-11-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was a complete whirlwind. Looking back over the 72 hours that it made up I can see why all three of us are exhausted today. Feel free to skip this next part if you take my word for the weekend craziness.

Alex had a Halloween party, I hung out with my parents for a couple hours and then made a late run to the airport to get Casey, we picked up Alex around midnight on the way back form the airport and then made a stop at Walmart to see if they had any fog machines left. Came home and passed out around 2am, was woken up by the doorbell, it was my friend who I said I would go to the farmer's market with, delayed 15 minutes to take a fast shower and dress, strolled said Farmer's Market. Came home, did some more decorating inside and tried to manage the mega piles of laundry that sprouted out of our carpet. Dropped Alex off at my parents house so Casey and I could have dinner out for our anniversary. Discovered that we had been at the restaurant 3+ hours (so fun!), made a late night run to grocery for beer, came home and decorated the front yard for Halloween at 11pm. Passed out at midnight, up early to get Alex from parents house, home to finish decorating with Alex, more laundry, some cleaning, a term paper, an accounting project, ordered pizza, trick or treating, home to hand out candy with Casey. Broke down decorations at midnight, in bed shortly after, and up around 4am because Casey had to leave on a business trip. Whew!

But between all the madness I happily loved on our new wall color. Ignore the catastrophe around it. That would be the leftovers from Halloween, late night trip packing and weekend living.

I also present to you the mess that was me after painting the popcorn ceilings in the living room and hallway. This was the light amount of spatter, my chest and arms were all most completely white. Loads of work, but so worth it! Yes that is paint on my lips and near my eye. I get into my work. :)

Up

2010-10-27T21:40:00.000-05:00

Imagine this.

You are standing feet firmly planted on the ground. Your toes slightly spread, flexing into the curve of the earth. Your chin rises just above the horizon, your eyelashes sweep to rest on your cheeks, your mouth lifts into a smile, a mirror of the earth's curve that you are resting on. You drop your shoulders back like there is a string guiding your wings down towards your spine, opening your chest, helping your ribs to rise with each breath. You feel golden, sun kissed by the rays of a setting. Aware of each sweep and tingle and smoothing. You are you.

That is how I feel today, empowered. it is delightful.

Hell Froze Over Today

2010-10-24T19:57:00.000-05:00

I did something HUGE today...

I finished painting the ceiling and finished painted the living room!!! I am covered in scattered popcorn and ceiling paint and am super sore, but so happy with the results.

I want to do a little bit of touch up tomorrow and need to paint the trim and fire place walls (white), so one more day to the big reveal!

Can you believe I finally finished painting?!?!?!?! This is a red letter day! I should go buy a lottery ticket!

One Bit of Bright - Our Final hours with Betty

2010-10-17T12:54:00.000-05:00

We made a very tough decision yesterday, Casey and I. Alex was at my parents house for the night and our friend who has been helping us with Betty came down to help change her dressing. It was very bad and I knew within a heartbeat of removing the wrappings that she was suffering silently and that we couldn't do this to her any more. Kim and I cleaned her up, bathed her in bacterial killer to try and stop the stink/infection, and wrapped her tumor back up. I looked at Kim when I removed the dressing and just started losing it, she looked at me when we were done and she lost it. It is just so sad to see Betty in the condition that she is in. it doesn't seem fair.

She is still happy to see us, still wagging her tail ( but not like she use too), still eating, still searching us out to sit at our feet. All these Stills made me blind to the fact that she is miserable. She hasn't done her happy rolling around on the ground dance in weeks. She sleeps all day long. She doesn't give kisses. And we haven't seen her do her spunky downward dog "Let's play" move in forever.

So I made the call and got an appointment for this afternoon to end this misery. I am heartbroken and have hide in the bathroom to cry into a towel, and then sucked it up and wiped my tears to get back to whatever I was doing.

I told Alex when I picked him up from my parents house what we were going to do this afternoon and we both broke down in the car, both of us miserable about Betty's suffering and having to say goodbye so soon. Casey and I exchange glances every time she does perk up a bit, like she did today when she came in from a walk about in the yard, she was frisky, playful and we had a spark of hope. And then her playfulness slowly turned into a manic need to rub her tumor on the ground, to scratch at it, and grunt in pain or irritation. It takes so long after one of those sessions to calm her down and help her get rid of her stress. She has been sleeping for hours in my office, and I am dreading 3pm when I need to wake her up and send her outside for one final time before we go to the vet.

**************************

We like to believe that our pets are waiting for us in Heaven, it is comforting to imagine Twain and Yuki waiting to show Betty the ropes, to think of her being there waiting for our someday. This comfort is small but bright in the midst of this misery.

Serious Situation - Betty

2010-10-15T15:31:00.000-05:00

Things are not looking good for Betty. She has had a tumor growing on her neck since Spring. It just kept getting bigger and bigger, and after consulting with out vet we decided not to do surgery for a slew of reasons. First Betty is very old somewhere around 16 years old. Second, we didn't think she would survive surgery because this big tumor is one of 7 that would need to be removed, it would be too much for her body. Third, she didn't seem to be bothered by it or in any pain, never flinched or made a peep if we touched it or moved it around. But the damn thing just kept getting bigger until finally about a month ago the skin split on it. So we have been keeping it clean, disinfected and coated in Neosporin, all of which kept infection at bay until about a week ago. We knew things had gotten worse when she started smelling very very bad. So we stepped up our doctoring under the direction of our vet all with the idea in mind that we would be putting Betty to sleep when things because painful for her.

A couple days ago we were cleaning as usual and the damn tumor degloved, if you know what that means then you know how horrible, gory and messy it is. If you don't know what it means and you don't want to gross yourself out, do not look it up, just trust me when I say things went from bad to worse in an instant. We immediately had a problem with bleeding, it would not stop bleeding for anything and Betty would not stop scratching at it. We had to unfortunately put her in the garage while we regrouped and talked to our vet, which stressed her out, not a good thing.

Enter our fabulous friend and neighbor who is a fabulous nurse and fellow dog lover, Kim. She came down after a long three day stretch of shifts with a bag of nursing goodness late late at night. We bandaged Betty up, stopped the bleeding and hoped for the best night we could.

Here is Betty's tumor bandaged up. It is as big as a tennis ball and just hangs off her neck. And yes that is blood in her fur, I waited to clean her up till she was a bit more calm.

You can see how bad Betty's cataracts are, on top of this she is all most completely blind and littered with tumors. But she is still one happy dog, sweet girl.

It has now been all most 48 hours since we bandaged her up and dosed her with pain meds and antibiotics. She sleeps alot and has started to smell again. Not a good sign that stink. We have been prepping Alex for the fact that we will be putting her down soon, it is just such a hard decision when she is still so damn happy and spry! She has had only one episode of pain and stress, the first afternoon/night when the tumor degloved, so we are very hesitant to take her in to the vet to be put down.

Damn, this caring for pets thing is so hard when they are so old. I feel so helpless, and just try to make her as comfortable as possible. Which I know that I am able to do when she gives me little licks and nuzzles.

Sweet Betty girl.

The Decor...

2010-10-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

I emptied out our decoration closet, otherwise known as the space under the stairs today. It was clear that we had a surplus of one type of decoration, Halloween decorations.

The entire stack is just Halloween, not even a smidgen of Thanksgiving mixed in there. We love this Holiday, especially Casey. At least once during the Spooky season we go out as a family and search through all the stores for Halloween decorations. We did that annual trip on Saturday and found a small handful of items we might pick up. Even though we love this holiday, we still wait for discounts on the decorations because they can be astronomically priced! For instance, all our Spooky towns houses on the left of the picture were either gifts or deeply discounted simply because one decent house can run you $75+ without a coupon. We have not picked many of them up over the last couple years because the workmanship has definitely been lowered, which is a shame, they are super cool.

Here is evidence that we are biased towards Halloween. This pile is for all the other holidays the rest of the year, including Christmas and wrapping papers. The brown boxes on the right are not even part of this stash, so this pile is even smaller.

Next week I will show you our outdoor decorations, because today was all about indoor decor!

Autumn = Crafts

2010-10-08T14:03:00.000-05:00

Ever since the temperatures at night started dipping into the 60's and then the 50's, I have become a crafting machine. Knitting, crocheting, stitching, felting, it has all passed under my fingers and through my hands.

I feel like I am waking up. Creativity is a fabulous sensation.

* Our new felted leaf garland for the dining nook, I finished it today. It makes me cozy.

1 hour is all it took

2010-10-04T22:11:00.000-05:00

I spent a single hour this afternoon cleaning house with Alex. One hour to put away all the random bits that get left out, to clean the kitchen, sweep the floors, put away some leftovers from Casey's weekend packing, piles of random papers that were downstairs, sort laundry, start towel laundry, clear the deck.

One hour, done before I made dinner for Alex and my mom. With leftovers for me after class.

One hour, done after I finished all my homework that was due tonight.

One hour, so when I returned home from class our house was clean and the dishwasher was ready to be emptied and the dryer was done with the towels and I could start on the clothes.

One hour made my night blissful.

Seed Tape and PJ gardening

2010-10-02T13:36:00.000-05:00

We made seed tape today, which is a great way to get Alex involved in the gardening. We cut strips of newspaper about an inch wide, made a paste of flour and water, and dotted the paste across the newspaper at the correct intervals for the different seed types. Handling itty bitty seeds out in the garden can be difficult, especially if it is windy and they are hard to see in the dirt. So Alex made up four strips of tape, three salad mix and one spinach.

We laid them out in their rows and loosely covered them with dirt. Just in time for Thanksgiving we will have garden fresh spinach and salad mix as early as Halloween. Gardening in your PJ's always makes digging in the dirt that much more fun. You can just spy the few strawberries that made it through our hot summer. Hopefully those beauties will give us a nice clutch of berries in the spring.

Give them a great big soak, you don't have to worry about them floating out of their rows because they are stuck to the tape! Genius! Alex also gave our very late season watermelon bed a good soak as well as the bed we are prepping for Fall snap peas. Love the split growing seasons we have here in Texas.

October's Daybook

2010-10-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

Outside My Window...is a roof repair guy who is fixing our sofett, it sagged a little in the last wind storm.

I am thinking... that today was a good day, took my Mom out for her birthday.

I am thankful for... Casey and Alex. And the big girls who defended the yard last night!

From the craft room...knitting like crazy to finish up a bunch of languishing projects. See my pumpkins below!

From the kitchen... PF Chang's leftover! YUMMY!

I am wearing... jean skirt, black tee and flops.

I am creating... to-do lists for next week, it's a packed week with a large load of homework and events.

I am going... no where and happy about that! I love staying home.

I am reading... The girl who played with fire, damn good!

I am hoping... that some contracts in the works fulfill soon!

I am hearing... Alex's video game, mindless fun for a Friday afternoon.

One of my favorite things...clean warm sheets, which reminds me that I want to bring out the down comforters this weekend.

Thoughts on School: Night classes are not my thing, HATE not being home at night. I can't wait for this semester to be over with. But at least my Accounting prof is amazing and damn funny.

Picture to share:

Just one of the felted pumpkins I made this year. Yay for being done with Pumpkins!!

I promote Co-Dependence

2010-09-29T12:47:00.000-05:00

This muffin, Archie, is completely and utterly codependent on me. It is rare for him to not be at my heels or prancing in front of me. When I am cooking he sits on the kitchen mat watching my every move. When I am on the couch he is snuggled right up in what we call "The Pocket", that are of space at our hip, perfect for him to snug himself into. When I am sleeping he is on the bed by my head if he has been good or in his dog bed on the floor next to my side of the bed if he has been naughty. When I leave the house he waits by the door. When I take a shower he sits on the bathmat waiting for me to come out.

If I dare to separate him from me, like I did the other night while trying to catch a glimpse of our nightly kitty visitor, he goes bonkers and spastic in his efforts to get to me. Whining and soft barking, expending energy that would make a toddler jealous, all to be back at my side.

And I love it.

I love having a puppy buddy who loves me to bits and shows it every second he can. It makes me love him and spoil him that much more.

The Angle

2010-09-27T08:29:00.000-05:00

The angle of light has changed, which means today is my first offical day of Autumn.

Fabulous!

Sunday Sunday

2010-09-26T14:58:00.000-05:00

I have had a crap week and because of my behavior my family has had a crap week as well. I found myself wallowing and falling into old crap patterns of defensiveness. Which has never helped in the past so why would it help this time? So I changed things up a little bit.

I sat up in bed last night knitting and listening to Things you missed in History class podcasts. I finished one project and plowed through half of another all while learning about Catherine the Great and Jamestown Shipwrecks. Progress!
I got up and took Alex to church and listened and prayed and thought about how my faith needs to be a tool and not a crutch. Progress!
Came home and leashed up the Penny dog and took a walk. First purposeful exercise in ummm forever! Progress!

Something different feels good. Admittedly I have a level of disgust laced into my accomplishment because these are all things I should have all ready been doing. And instead of turning introverted, trying to figure out where I stopped being Me in my life, I going to look forward and live.

Progress!

The Great Jeans Challenge

2010-09-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

Fall is right around the corner here in Texas, so I took a look at my cold weather wardrobe and was happy to see that I have so many jeans. My absolute favorite pair of jeans bit the dust early this summer by way of a hole that tore right down the thigh. So sad. Anyways, I happily piled all my jeans, five pairs in amazingly great condition, on the bed and proceeded to torture myself with trying them on.

It was humiliating, maddening, frustrating, and a sort of physical exercise. I mean I was sweating at the end of all that work, so that counts as exercise right? At the end of my torture I ended up with two piles, one of jeans that I could wear but they were horrible uncomfortable and the results were not pretty. The other three pairs were NOT suitable for wear. AT ALL! They looked like they were painted on and even included zippers that didn't zip up.

So instead of wallowing in my fat assed-ness and going out and buying new jeans that fit, I have decided I need to lose weight simply so I can wear these jeans for Fall and Winter.

Enter the Great Jeans Challenge!

Objective: Lose enough weight to be able to wear all five jeans that I currently own AND look good in them.
Tools: My 30 day Shred DVD, walking with the dogs, and abstinence from a fourth meal of the day.
Goal Date: November 1st!

How did that happen?

2010-09-17T08:23:00.000-05:00

My desk is an absolute mess, it is covered in papers and misplaced items. There are stacks of books to be read, that have been read, and those needed for school. There are trees worth of handouts that Alex's teacher sent home and piles of junk mail that looked slightly interesting. *Read coupons for places we never go* So today, which is traditional a clean up day anyways, I am going to blow through this mess in the space of two songs. Only two songs or else I will justify keeping that coupons to the Mongolian Grill that I really didn't like.

Looking at the paper slide that is my desk I just kept asking myself, "How did that happen?". Usually my desk has at least one big open space to do school work on. The answer is simple, I had so much else to do! Casey was out of town this week on a business trip so I had the whole week to play solo parent. My week included:

Two nights of school, where my mom stayed with Alex.
Two days of teaching at home.
Hours of studying for the two tests, 3 papers, and 2 labs I had to complete by Wednesday.
Three nights of a sick Betty Dog, let me just say that I have used our carpet cleaner more in this week than I have in the last month.
11 Loads of laundry, with more in the washer today.
Two nights of Alex ending up in our bed, just because.
And of course one really good book that I was dying to finish.

So that is how that Paper slide happened.

I miss my mornings

2010-09-14T09:19:00.000-05:00

I use to get up early before the dawn and would start my day in those quiet solo hours. I didn't do it willingly, each morning was a struggle to not hit snooze, but each morning had fabulous rewards that always outweighed the extra sleep. I use to walk in the dark, dodging frogs, watching for the sunrise. I would enjoy a morning Jackie and toast and rub puppy bellies with my foot. I would keep one ear open to the slumbering going on upstairs and the other tuned to the amount of noise I would make.

The summer stole my mornings away from me. I would instead stay up late with the crickets, floating in the pool by moonlight. I would sleep in past the sunrise and would struggle through grogginess as the hours hit the double digits. School started up again and I would rise just early enough to get Alex out the door and on the bus. But the flannel would always tempt me back to it's embrace, the sleeping Casey a lure on it's own.

As I stayed up today after the bus drop off, and forced upon myself a cup of coffee and toast, and tried to watch the sunrise, I remembered all the morning moments I have been missing. So once again I will submit myself to the torture of resetting a morning routine. I will gladly rise in the dark because I know that one morning soon, I truly will be glad to slip out of bed and into a few hours that stand apart from the rest of the day.

Dear World...

2010-09-11T14:17:00.000-05:00

Dear World,

I understand that life is made up of opposites and extremes. Yin and Yang and different points of view. But when it really comes down to it, we are all just people. We all look at our children and give them the best we can, we look past the superficial and care for the person underneath, we all eat and sleep and produce weird bodily noises and smile and frown. We need to remember these things and strive for sharing our lives with the lives around us.

As a Mother, I look at my son and send fervent prayers to heaven that his reality will be full of understanding, resolution, forward movement, and simple pleasures. I imagine my parents wished the same for me, and their parents before them. I know without a shadow of a doubt that there are mothers and fathers in the Yang to my Yin praying the same thing for their children. That gives me hope more than anything.

And where I might never forget, I want to ALWAYS remember that we are all basically the same underneath our clothing and our religions and our politics. When it comes down to it we all want happiness and safety and comfort. So start doling it out at home, in your neighborhood and workplace.

Care for the Yin's and the Yang's in your life. You will be a better person because of it.

Love,

Me.

If I could will to happen...

2010-09-09T20:46:00.000-05:00

I can all most feel that it is Fall, except for the fact that Texas is still sweltering under humidity and 90+ degree weather. But it LOOKS like Fall, the leaves are starting to drop. The grass isn't nearly as bright. The garden is shut down, waiting for possible winter crops. School has started and I got out of class last night in the dark!

Most importantly, the bust out the harvest orchard candles.

Autumn is all most here. Which means Halloween decorations, knitting, hoodies, close toed shoes, down comforters and flannel, and comfort foods. Bliss!

Right now...

2010-09-08T16:03:00.000-05:00

Right now, I am giddy that a current favorite song just came up on my shuffle list.
Right now, I have an hour till I go to class.
Right now, I am not looking forward to Macro Econ, just because my instructor is horrible at teaching.
Right now, Alex is laying on the ground behind me reading a book and pushing a chair around with his feet even though I asked him to stop.
Right now, I am wondering why the Middle school bus stopped in front of our house instead of down the block like usual.
Right now, I am getting ready to chug a glass of ice water.
Right now, I wonder what the weather is like at Disneyland.

Nature

2010-09-07T16:35:00.000-05:00

Casey and Alex discovered a Walking Stick in the yard.

Of course I had to see the creepy crawly.

Someone was very proud of his find. And that missing tooth, do you see the gap? :)

Rain

2010-09-07T08:43:00.000-05:00

It's rainy this morning and will keep raining for the next 36 hours, Hermine is creeping through the state. This rain is good, needed, pushing us towards Fall, even more than the month of September. My husband is sleeping while the rain quietly patters down. My son is at school with his umbrella tucked into his backpack. I am gazing out my office window watching the sky get grayer in stripes. This rain is so very good.

Cause you still have to eat!

2010-08-26T21:44:00.000-05:00

Earlier this summer a friend loaned me every single Jen Lancaster book on the market. I kinda let them sit on a shelf for a little while because I was finishing up Eat Pray Love and ummm, something else that I have all ready forgotten about. But in need of reading material the other day, cause I was going to be sitting by the pool watching boys be crazy in the water, I picked JL's Such a Pretty Fat out of the stack at random.

I was actually finding myself agreeing with the author's personal weight/diet struggles right away, and any one who can say her dog likes tossed salad and writes with footnotes is sure to be a fun read. Slowly through the course of the story I found myself agreeing with her love of food, seriously cheesey chips with guacamole and jack's salsa is heaven sent, and then found myself agreeing with her slow decline into self pity over her weight. And then you get to the point where she jumps on every diet bandwagon and I kept on nodding my head in agreement, because I HAVE BEEN THERE.

And then I lost her...

Because she started talking about her workouts and how her shoulders are now squared off and she has "strongs!". And I couldn't relate.

Now, hold the brakes for a second, I am not seeking pity for my belly fat, just saying that I could no longer relate... BUT she had an epiphany in her story about a day after I had my own personal health epiphany.

And I have found myself easily making healthier choices, easily able to resist the candy box raids, easily willing to eat Fiber (which still is kinda evil) because of this epiphany and the results that I know I will get if I change things (and I REALLY want those results). And then I thought this tonight as I made dinner.

"Just because I want to lose weight and be overall in better health, doesn't mean I have to torture myself with dieting. Cause I still HAVE to eat! Hello, food is a good thing cause it keeps me ALIVE! (duh!) But I can at least eat GOOD tasting healthy food in smaller sizes. And that my friends is not torture."

Someone remind me of this inspired thought next week when I want to blow through a can of Pizza Pringles.

25 different directions

2010-08-25T07:18:00.000-05:00

School is completely back in session for both Alex and I. Which means that life is out of our lovely summer mode and is now broken into daily and hourly schedules with lists all over the place. I have night classes this semester because I wanted to open up my days for more work so two times a week our normal schedule is all wonky and Casey is in full Dad mode. On Mon/Weds he takes Alex to tae kwon do, makes sure all home work is done, feeds everyone (leaving a plate for me, so sweet), makes sure evening chores are complete, gets Alex into the shower and in bed by the time I get home. Now he regularly does this when my classes weren't at night, but I am usually around to do most of it. Add to this schedule work and business meetings and the possibility of Casey traveling out of town and we have a highly organized week. On those occasions when Casey is traveling my mom is stepping in to take over for him on the two nights I am at school. Thank goodness for Grandmothers!

Alex is having a great time in 5th grade so far, loves his teacher and the kids in his class are great. We all have a great feeling about this year. That makes me really happy.

The four classes I am taking this semester are going to kick my ass! I have English Comp II and Fitness& Wellness online , neither one is really a big brain buster but both have LOTS of work. It's my night classes that will kill me slowly, first up is Accounting 1 ( yes I know a lot of this all ready, but the online quizzing/testing is very very detailed) and then Macroeconomics (still to early to decide how I feel about this one, I do have a crazy instructor though). I know it will get harder for me once the time changes and my classes are in the dark, I hate not being home at night so this will be an adjustment. Wish me luck!

The End of Summer, Hour Pics

2010-08-23T08:26:00.000-05:00

The last week of summer lingered and yet passed so quickly. Easiest way to enjoy it fully, but remember the details was to take a picture every hour of our day on any given day. Lots of food, pups, out of doors and regular life. It was bliss.

To you, our Alex man...

2010-08-22T17:56:00.000-05:00

Dear Alex:

Tomorrow brings your 5th grade school year. The last year you will have in elementary, one year left of recess and afternoon snack time. A single year left before all the true pre-teen emotions and attitudes come storming out of you. We are all looking forward to this year because you have a fabulous teacher and fabulous classmates (none of the jerks from last year), so we are all excited and hopefully and READY for a great year.

You picked out a week of clothes today and hung them all in a row in your closet. You picked out a week of lunches and bagged them in the pantry. You reviewed your chores and the family calendar for the week. You are prepared.

Above all you have calmed my nervous Mother's heart. Not once have you shown any worry that this year would be a repeat of the last. Not once have you complained about losing summer days and gaining an early alarm. You have been excited since the first day of August, counting down the 23 days till you finally got to drive down the street to your school. You have been the reason why I haven't worried, simply because you are not worried. Thank you for being the best Mommy Prosac ever. :)

Alex, as we always tell you, you are our heart in two separate bodies. We are so proud of you and who you are, more so as you grow into a fabulous young man who is responsible, caring, funny, and has a passion for life.

We love you Alex man, you make us proud every day, I can't tell you that enough!

Love,

Mom & Dad

If only I COULD be a dirty veggie Hippie...

2010-08-19T22:26:00.000-05:00

I have a serious love for what my husband fondly calls Hippie music. To be honest, it probably is modern hippie music. I then daydream that I am a Modern Suburban Hippie (an Oxymoron if i ever wrote one). But alas there are too many things about me that disqualify me for Hippiedom.

*I am too chubby to be a Hippie, well really I could be that one chubby dirty hippie with dreads, but isn't he usually a guy?

* I love to GROW vegetables, but even I like bacon way to much.

* I am not against the idea of dreads, in fact I could probably rock it, but I really like to BRUSH my hair. And I really like showers. With Soap. And Shampoo.

* Ummm, Being a Texas republican probably disqualifies me too. Could I start a NEW type of Hippie? RepHippie?

* I couldn't do the no shaving thing, cause when the hair on your legs is long enough to blow in the breeze then it's time to bust out a razor.

Come to think of it, maybe I just like the hairy looking brilliant indie Musicians?

End of these golden summer days

2010-08-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Six days left till school starts up for Alex and I.
Six days till my work schedule becomes out of this universe busy.
Six days till I will pack meals away from home for Alex and myself.
Six days till Casey has TKD duty two nights a week.
Six days till the alarm has to be set early.

So until then...

I have six days to finish painting.
I have six days to finish organizing.
I have six days to relearn that I love early mornings.
I have six days to tempt the kiddo in the pool for morning swims.
I have six days to plan lunches and dinners and menus that I will probably not use.
I have six days to daydream about an idealized Fall.

I have six days.

Lugging Around

2010-08-05T10:10:00.000-05:00

A Purse can sure tell you a lot about a person. I read a book one time, maybe it was Scruples, where a woman was judged on the contents of her purse and how tidy it was. Her purse ended up being immaculate and simple, nothing extra in it. I don't think I would pass that test. :)

The Goods:

My Planner ( Busy Body Book) love this darn thing!
Garden catalog that I looked through while at Alex's TKD practice
Trusty note pad
TKD testing application for Alex's next belt!
Free car wash coupon.
Three paint samples for the living room ( still trying to find the right one)
Two pens and a DS stylus
My Droid *XOXO this thing!*
Two hair clips
One tube of liquid stitches
Thumb drive
Liquid tears four pack for emergencies
Buxom Lipgloss by BE
Chapstick
Handsantizer
One receipt from yesterday breakfast out with Casey
A lone gum wrapper.
My wallet
and a smattering of spare change.

Clean Sweeping, seriously where did it all come from????

2010-08-04T14:21:00.000-05:00

Today I have the biggest urge to purge and clean and organize nooks and crannies in our home. I tackled my craft closet (again) simply because I couldn't get in there any more, and I had three laundry baskets hidden in there holding crap. It still needs a massive amount of work, but it is much more organized then it was. I am continually amazed at how much stuff I can easily let go of or throw away each time I clean it.

I then got picky about my bookcases, so I reorganized them, purged crap, cleared out the drawers and consolidated a mini bookcase and part of my yarn stash into the newly found space. Which left me with one empty bookcase and the yarn rack now filled with works in progress (they had previously been piled in a corner). The Hedgie cage is now out of the way and I can finally access my drawers and shelves without moving him around.

Two bags of trash are out in the can and three bags of donations are heading for the trunk. Yay!

I think I am in full on nesting mode, simply because I know life is about to get more complicated and I won't have time like this to organize when back in school and full time work. Plus I just keep thinking about how much STUFF we have. We trip over it for God's sake! So it's time to purge it all.

Next up:

Finish the craft/storage closet.
Organize/purge/clean the holiday closet
Organize/purge/clean the hall closet
Tackle Alex's playroom. Lord help us!
Organize/purge/clean the Pantry and Kitchen. Too many things!!

I made myself get off the fence!

2010-08-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

My last post had me on a fence between two possibilities, waiting for an outcome. Well I decided to be proactive and change things up for myself. Which means...

Still going to school, but I now have 3 web classes and 2 evening classes on Monday/Wednesday.

Which means...

I can work days, which is especially important because I just gave a head hunter a go ahead to book me as much as possible for virtual gigs. She is as of right now booking my calendar up! Which is fabulous for the budget.

Which means...

We can breathe a little easier since it has been a very light year for Casey work.

It also means...

I need to create a strict daily schedule because I will be spending so much time virtually teaching and learning that I need to make myself exercise and get outside.

I am crazy... excited, giddy, hopeful, and must admit nervous that I am overwhelming myself.

Picket fences are not comfortable.

2010-07-29T16:14:00.000-05:00

Summer session is officially over! Something small to celebrate for sure. Fall is right around the corner, 25 days to be exact. BUT my Fall is not solid yet. Yes I have registered for classes (5 to be crazy), and even made the first installment payment today. BUT there is a great business opportunity is very very possible, and very very time consuming. So consuming that I would have to drop all my face to face classes and try to switch as many as I could to Web classes. Because this opportunity would be 5 days a week, all day, for all most the entire Fall semester.

I know what I will do all ready, but this waiting, this limbo sucks! If the contract is approved and I am selected then I will take the job and switch as many classes to web as I can. If not, then I will just stick to my current Fall plan which is school on M-W, and work the other three days. I am only whining about this because I bought Alex's school supplies today, and I didn't know whether or not I needed to buy supplies for myself too.Truly, a tiny petty detail, but it made me whisper a prayer that the powers that be would hurry up and make up their minds.

Cause I am impatient damn it. :)

For You, the person on the other side of the Dark Glass

2010-07-25T23:14:00.001-05:00

When I was a little girl I use to put my finger tip on the mirror and would peer intently at the point between my finger and my reflection. The space between reality and reflection. It seemed like it held a multitude of shadows, blocked out by my single digit. A space apart yet part of the picture.

I think of that space sometimes, and secretly press my finger to a shower fogged glass or a newly windex'ed mirror just to see that it still exists. When I do it's like I am connecting somehow to that point between, that Neither Land.

You mentioned a Dark Glass, a lyrical reference, but an image of that secret space between. And I knew that we were sisters somehow. Bound by similar and dissimilar. I heard you friend. I hope that brings you comfort.

Medusa Mermaid

2010-07-20T21:42:00.000-05:00

Shoulders tense, not able to make them relax or unknot, I decided that my only hope was to float. First impression, the water was cool, perfect for such a hot day. I fell back, slid into liquid and suspended my body on the pools miniscus. I hung there between water and sky for thousands of heart beats, listening to my breath, my heart, my blood thrumming. My hair fanned out in inky directions in the water, turning me into a Medusa Mermaid. My eyes tracked the sky that changed as the current directed me. First trees, noticing the deadwood. Next clouds, noticing the thunder scapes. Then sunset, noticing the God rays and shadows. My vision was a prayer and I floated weightless, directionless, relaxing.

Weekly favorites

2010-07-18T12:15:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday and the menfolk went out and rustled up some donuts, yummy.
~~I am going to go see Eclipse with a friend today, yeah a guilty pleasure, but I bet the True Blood episode will be better than the movie.~~ She cancelled and it doesn't surprise me, but did disappoint. :( At least I have True Blood Tonight!
Texas has realized that it is summer and therefore has turned up the heat and humidity.
My garden has decided that we will not be getting any green beans this year regardless of all the hard work I put into them.
My garden has decided that it will bless us with 20+ watermelons though. Go figure.
The pool is BLUE not even a hint of green. Super happy about that.
I am redesigning some things on the blog, expect a mess and hiccups for a couple weeks.
Only 2 weeks left in summer session, YAY!

Summer schooling at Home

2010-07-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

Alex's forth grade year was less than ideal. His grades were good, but what he actually learned sucked! The more years we have in public school the more I realize that these students are only being taught to the test, not to knowledge. One thing that became shockingly apparent right after school let out, is that Alex had no idea what was a state or what was a country. He mentioned one day that the country of Arizona must be really mad about all the illegal aliens in their country to make laws about it. Now I am all for discussing current events with our kid (which we do all most everyday since we are a news junkie household), but I was floored that he thought Arizona was a separate country. After a quick verbal quiz we discovered that he was completely confused on the topic.

Enter a mom made Summer School packet.

Nearly every day Alex does some sort of school work. We are using Handwriting Without Tears to improve his printing and cursive, and have all ready seen an improvement. We do Math drills every day both 4 digit addition, multiplication and division. We are reviewing Money skills, especially since he now earns an allowance. Reading comprehension, grammar, and writing skills are reviewed in a rotating basis throughout the week. States and their capitals are done every day with a new state each day. I found some awesome coloring and flashcard sheets for each state online and we slowly build up our flashcard deck each day.

Admittedly Alex isn't too happy about this impromptu summer home school, but I will be damned if my kid won't know the difference between Delaware and Bolivia.

Today is...

2010-07-02T11:56:00.001-05:00

muted morning light, open bedroom windows...

summer work while dressed for the pool...

Lego display towers, sacred toy space.

Betty Watch

2010-07-02T11:51:00.000-05:00

Our sweet Betty girl is not doing well at all. Casey found her laying down in the yard in the pouring rain. She is much more lethargic then she normally is, and that is saying something about a dog who normally naps 20 hours out of the day. She isn't eating, rarely drinking, and vomits bile frequently. Our sweet girl is in the end of her days. Now we are just trying to keep her comfortable till it's time to take her in.

Something to make Daily Living Easier...

2010-06-27T09:52:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of Summer, all of three weeks ago, Alex and I sat down and made a Chore Chart. We listed EVERYTHING that he is expected to do each day and broke those tasks down into Morning, Afternoon, and Evening categories. I added in a Daily Chore Focus and some encouragement on the Allowance Reminder. We got it Color Copied LARGE and laminated and it has been a GOD Send.

Seriously, how great is it to ask your kiddo to go check their chart for their morning chores, OR have them check it on their own, and see that things are just getting "magically" done on their own. Love it!

I do think the guy at Office Depot thinks we are slave drivers though. :)

We have set up some rules for his allowance, that at least half of it needs to be put into savings each month, but the other half is his to spend as he wishes. So far he has decided to save up for either a new Lego set (surprise!) or a Nerf dart gun. He also gets Bonus cash for extra projects that he can choose to take on. Like $5 for helping with my moms dog for the week when he stays over. Or tackling organization of his clothing.

Regardless, this chart thing is working great!

No longer climbing, now we are falling...

2010-06-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

Here, I have been here, all the time lately. My Desk, my chair, my laptop, still here. Summer session is done with week 5, I am officially at the halfway point.

Why do halfway points make me want to rush ahead into something new?

Fall is all ready registered for, five more classes, five more A's to earn. Which I am totally going to do.

The Summer Equinox was Monday, that day always makes me hyper aware of Fall, that we are now tumbling towards the end of the year, no longer climbing but falling. I like that thought... I think I am craving winter even in the midst of Summer swimming and gardening.

Once again, a halfway point, rushing towards the end.

**********

Please excuse the melancholy bent on the blog lately. Things are different and changing and adrift, I need to keep steady.

For Laurie

2010-06-19T18:04:00.000-05:00

My discount bin violet, $2 never looked so good.

Dear friend, friend who told amazingly funny stories. I have read your last story now, there won't be anymore coming.

Dear mother, mother who loved her son with all her being and soul and heart. I have sent your son love and prayers in your stead.

Dear woman, woman who just recently found new love. I have blown kisses and hugged air for your lover who is without you now.

Dear gardner, gardener who tended her plants and flowers with instinct and delight. I have planted a row in my soil to tend for you.

Dear Laurie, Laurie who touched so many, Laurie who loved me and who I loved. I have missed you these past days and know that someday we will meet again.

The thought of you waiting to greet me brings a smile to my face. I know you will have an amazing story for me.

When it Rains...

2010-06-15T22:24:00.001-05:00

Yeah there has been a lot going on, hence the blogging break. Because really do you want to hear about:

the fact that all three cars had some sort of major hiccup over the last two weeks.
and our Lab ate all the beefsteak tomatoes that were two days away from perfection off the vine today.
and that a good friend of mine passed away this weekend at the age of 36.
and her death has triggered some emotional responses and fears of dying young due to poor health.
and that school is boring as all get out, but there are only 6 weeks left after tomorrow
or that work really slowed down, like snail speed.
and that my ENTIRE braid somehow dreaded up on itself the last time I was in the pool and it took me an hour to pick out and now I REALLY need to cut some mega length off.
or that we saw a scary gory motorcycle accident minutes after it happened.
and that all the fabulous rain we got last month has resulted in an explosion of flies, who like to come in our house.

Inhale, Exhale, Keep Going Forward.

On the Bright side (because there always is if you look)

Casey picked up two jobs for the month!
I switched house insurances and saved a BUNDLE
and that switched restructured our escrow account which sent us an out of balance check!
I am slightly car savvy enough to find the problem under the hood and confident enough to go back to the garage to have them fix it AGAIN.
Alex is loving his summer camp.
And once again, I am rocking the grades in school, 100+% in every class. Plus due to extra credit.
And I love my husband, he has been great through the pouring rain, I appreciate that.

Okay, Carry On Nicole!

For Kimberly...

2010-06-10T21:55:00.000-05:00

When I was what I would now call a girl, I lived frivolously, never lighting on one thing for long. I had blonde hair that was my vanity and power.

Like Samson I gathered my pride and beauty from the strands that tangled about my face. I used my hair as a veil for the things about myself that I didn't like. My lazy eye, my crooked teeth, my father's nose, the fat that I now know wasn't real.

My mane was something that everyone else saw and some would comment and others would ask and a few would touch. But I have no memories of my hair from that time besides one where I released my hair from a clasp after a long day of work and I felt it swish down my back in a wash of pleasure.

So not only was I frivolous but I was vane about something that I don't even remember. From those years there is only one memory that I can conjure up for hair, hair that wasn't even my own.

It was yours, during one of our hot summer days on a blacktop that has since been paved over. Your hair was braided and the loops that twisted over themselves three times three were gold and blonde and brown. Fluttering behind you were long wisps that had escaped, tangling in the wind and heat.

And I loved your hair that day and was inspired by that memory to braid my tresses in a new kind of heat, Texas swelter, a few recent years ago.

And now I wear Kimberly braids and think of you as I feel their weight on my shoulders and their wisps tangle in my eyelashes.

In which I make dirt!

2010-05-30T09:11:00.000-05:00

For Mother's Day the guys got me something that just makes my heart sing, a Composter!! That big ugly lovely eye sore of a box is my new favorite thing! My composter holds all our organic waste, things like kitchen scraps, coffee grounds, dog hair, toilet paper rolls, old leaves, and garden trimmings and turns it into lovely rich dirt!! We have a bowl that sits out on our counter now, and all veggie kitchen scraps go in there to be taken out to the composter. It isn't the prettiest looking tool, so we have placed it behind our shed right next to the massive electrical box that our shed hides. It is very close to my garden space and really not that far away!

Love this thing! It makes me that much more of a garden loving hippie!

Frogs and a list

2010-05-29T13:41:00.001-05:00

A teeny tiny frog in Alex's hand, they are all over the place right now.

This last week has had a boatload of drama dealing with Alex's school. We all hate it.
The drama that is.
I have been sick for a couple days, sleeping like the dead. 16 hours throughout yesterday, slept till 10am today.
I can't even get into a horizontal position or else I will sleep.
Ugh
Alex has three days of school left.
I have 10 days till Summer Session starts for me.
Work: slowly increasing.
The pool is fluctuating between blue and green, the heat has such a huge impact.
The garden is flourishing! Have a week or two before I can harvest our first tomatoes! They are huge!
I downloaded a ton of Podcasts, business and history and grammar and This American Life, it is all good.
Casey is home, working local right now, glad to have him here every day!
If I am feeling better tomorrow I might actually PAINT the ceiling. Snort, we will see. :)

Open for the season

2010-05-23T16:45:00.000-05:00

We opened our pool up for the season today! One weekend ahead of the community pool, which was our goal. :) Our first swim was 2.5 hours long. Here's too many many hours and days in the pool this summer. Floating, playing, swimming, daydreaming, napping, splashing, dog paddling, and connecting. So happy right now.

Trees are more work than I thought!

2010-05-20T08:31:00.000-05:00

Casey and I went over to my parents house yesterday to help my mom with some trees that needed pruning. When I say we helped, I really mean that Casey was going to do all the work, so I dressed as usual in jeans, a tee, and flip flops. With all the rain we have had lately my parents trees had grown a lot and some branches were so heavy that they touched the ground.

Casey got to work with the chainsaw and clippers and I happily spent my time taking pictures.
Until I saw how big the tree branch waste pile was getting. So regardless of my inappropriate clothing and shoes and lack of gloves, I jumped in to help my mom haul the branches to the side yard to wait for bulk pick up day. 2 hours later (!!) the trees were finished, the yard was clear, the waste branches were stored and we were all sweaty and sporing some cuts from the thorns.Sammy spent those 2 hours happily chewing up a chunk of wood. This little pisser gets to spend 10 days with us starting this weekend. I have sworn to teach him how to sit, not pee in the house, and lose 2 pounds.

One final task was left before we could go to lunch. My mom had heard something in the garage the night before. It sounded like it was stuck to the glue traps that they use by their garage doors, and my mom being afraid of snakes just shut the door without looking and called Casey. LOL. Turns out a huge bull frog was stuck to a trap and trying to free himself. Casey helped him out and helped him over the fence with a toss.

Yay for Spring in Texas!

Non-Toxic for us!

2010-05-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

Back in February we made a choice for our family that was hard and long needed. We decided that the best thing for our family would be to drop out of Cub scouts. We had been part of the same pack for four years, I was a leader for four years, I was a committee member for four years, we only had 9 months to go before Alex would have earned the highest honor in Cub scouts, the Arrow of Light.

BUT...

In our den there were three boys who bullied Alex every single day. I had talked to their parents multiple times about it, but they ignored the problem. These boys would bully my own kid right in front of me while I was trying to led a den meeting. Screw that! I was wasting my time trying to help and teach kids who treated my kid like crap, I don't think so! I also was running the entire den solo since none of my parents would step up to the plate to help me. Which means that I was planning and tracking achievements for 12 boys every single week. And paying for them many times too.

The pack leaders were also problems, one of the bullying kids was theirs, I still think they were doing something shifty with the pack funds. Things never added up.

So in February, we quit. No notice. No pleasantries. Just quit. I literally boxed up all the Cub Scout crap I had, which was a car load, and dumped it off at the den leaders house. It felt GREAT!!

It was so freeing to finally have our Thursday nights back. We were able to put Alex back into Tae Kwon Do full time. Most important, the bullying completely stopped because we weren't around those ass hats. We haven't missed Cub Scouts at all.

Fast forward to today, I went into Alex's school to drop off his forgotten hat and water for field day. The wife of the pack leader and mother to one of the bullies works in the front office. She was abrupt and rude. I just walked away thinking that I am so glad my family isn't around that TOXIC bull crap anymore.

I went home happy, she got to stay there being a bitch. Sounds like a fair exchange to me. :)

Crossing things off

2010-05-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

I have been chipping away at my Mega to-do list and avoiding the biggest task on that list at the same time, the dreaded painting job. Today I woke up, after a very late night with friends, with a huge headache (I can't imagine why! *grin*). I decided that I had to get Alex's curtains hemmed today of all days. A half hour later they were rehung about a foot shorter then they started out being and now have tie backs to let in some light. Please excuse the bad picture quality, I had to lighten the original shot a fair amount to be able to actually see the curtains. Alex told me that he likes that the curtains make his bedroom feel like a hotel.

I spent some time in the backyard yesterday raking up old leaves to use in my new compost bin and taking care of some garden maintenance. I transplanted the strawberries to a new bed, freeing up the tall bed for watermelons! I planted zucchini and eggplants around the corn to help shade the corn roots. Added two more rows of green beans, one a bush variety the other climbing. All most every square inch of our garden space is well used. Once the beans get bigger I will plant lettuce between those rows to take advantage of the shade and help keep water in the soil. I love Companion planting! I would still love to build more beds, maybe later in the summer for some Autumn harvests.

That makes two more things crossed off my Mega Monthly goal list. I am seriously thinking about tackling the ceiling painting tomorrow. It is the worst part of the whole list. I only have so many days left in my month off. Might as well get it done!

Little Birdie

2010-05-15T13:57:00.000-05:00

Casey found this little guy today as he was weed whacking along the fence line. Lucky he didn't hit him at all. Poor little guy is so tiny, he looks to be a type of sparrow.

Looking around we found a nest that we had not spotted before.

So Casey scooped up the little guy, after having to chase him across the yard and keep Penny away from him.

We put the little guy back up in his nest to give him time to recoup before he tries to fly away again. He was feisty!

Alex's School Saga

2010-05-13T08:24:00.000-05:00

I don't think I have written about what has been going on with Alex's fourth grade year here very much, or at all. To start at the beginning puts us back to August of last year. His new teacher, Mrs. G, was nice and friendly but within a month she started being inconsistent with assignments, homework, grades, and class discipline.

I had a teacher conference with her in October where she went over what we all ready know about Alex, that is he is friendly smart and loves to help in class. But through the entire conversation she wouldn't look me in the eyes. That should have been a red flag for me.

Then later that month a boy who we are on friendly terms with his family, transferred out of the class because the parents thought Mrs. G was a horrible teacher. I was slightly surprised but wrote it off to those parents being control freaks. Before we knew it Christmas break had arrived and at the class holiday party she was happy and upbeat and didn't say a single thing to the kids about the New Year.

Fast forward to the first week back to school in January and Alex's class has a substitute, a Mr. K. We found out later that week that Alex's previous teacher Mrs. G was taking an extended leave of absence that she had been planning since school started. We wouldn't know if she was coming back for a couple months, but in the mean time we had Mr. K. This new teacher seemed to be great and a HUGE improvement over Mrs. G right from the beginning.

In January we had to dealing with bullying and this teacher was very supportive of Alex during this time. The principle, who Casey can't stand but we both agree that he can be effective, thought Mr. K was a fabulous teacher. We were so focused on helping Alex with bullying and his self esteem that the teaching issues were pushed to the back burner.

The bullying issue stopped and Alex seemed happier, but I started noticing things when I would stop by the class randomly. In the morning the kids wouldn't be doing their workouts like they were supposed too and would be goofing off or sleeping at their desks. We never got any of Alex's work sent home, literally have not had work since before Thanksgiving sent home. Alex started talking about how Mr. K would freak out in the class and how many of the kids were doing outrageous things in class like coating their faces with pudding?!?!

I witnessed one of these freak outs one morning where he was throwing his hands in the air and yelling at the kids to sit down. Completely unprofessional, he looked shocked when he saw me standing in the door and realized that I had witnessed his behavior.

Early in April I had to deal with Mr K for taking away Alex's recess for helping a friend who was getting beat up. Alex helped the kid off up off the ground and told the other kids to leave him alone. For that Alex and the victim lost their recess, but the bullies had NOTHING done to them. All this happened inside the classroom and the teacher claimed he didn't know anything about the situation. When I talked to Mr. K he said he didn't write Alex's name on the board to lose recess and that Alex was making it up. Alex wouldn't make up bullying of a friend, especially since he went through it only a couple months ago. So Alex's recess wasn't taking away, and I started being hyper aware of Alex's class and teacher. Guess what was written on the board when I showed up in class the next morning? Alex's name on the board from the day before. Asshat teacher lied to me.

Then last month while the kids were going through state testing, Mr. K cursed at Alex for spilling a little bit of milk. He also made nasty comments to Alex about Alex's personality, eating habits, and friends. As soon as I found all this out I called up the Vice Principle and got Alex transferred out of his class. Luckily another teacher, Mrs. N, knew Alex and offered to overcap her class to take him. Thank God!

Alex's new teacher is AWESOME, we all wish Alex had her from the start. She has communicated with me multiple times through email and follows through on her promises of extra work packets and information. She contacted us earlier this week that a major math skill that Alex should have had down pat all ready, was lacking. She went through multiple testings and teachings and he got the skill down, but his promotion tests had the bad grade. Luckily all of his other grades at high 90's, so she knew it wasn't his ability but the teaching from Mr. K.

She brought up this issue to the principle because if Alex, who is really smart, didn't get this math skill, then many of the other students of Mr. K do not have it as well. HUGE No-No since this was the main skill on the state tests they JUST TOOK!! Regardless, Alex is back on track and is looking at straight A's for his end of year grades AND we get his work sent home!!! Yay!

I have all ready been pulling some strings to be able to request his teacher for 5th grade. I refuse for Alex to have to go through another year with another shitty teacher.

4th grade has sucked up until Mrs. N's class. God bless good teachers!!!

Tender

2010-05-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

I had the absolute BEST massage of my life today.

But tonight, I feel like Anna of the Magic fingers was actually using a Meat Tenderizer on my shoulders and neck.

I hurt.

Oddly, I don't mind the pain so much because I remember how FABULOUS I felt after my pampering.

Like Butter.

I am Land O Nikki.

Or was... now I am happily sore.

Oh by the way, one more goal down! It is always easy to cross of a pampering day from a Mega Goal list.

Finally! Some Pampering

2010-05-11T07:35:00.000-05:00

Today is THE day, I go for my mega massage in 2.5 hours followed up by my mega relaxing facial! My parents gave me a spa gift certificate for my birthday and my FIL followed up with birthday cash, so I combined it all into one mega treatment just to relax. I have been waiting till after finals and on a relaxing week to have my pampering. I can hardly wait!

These pictures have nothing to do with my massage except they do a great job documenting the mayhem and Archie suffering that we deal with each week. That dog has such a "tough" life. Balancing dog toys on his head really wears him out. Of course I had to include the picture below so you could see Alex in all his directorial spaziness. And Archie revolting of course. :)

Carrot Haul

2010-05-10T07:40:00.000-05:00

My Mother's Day was great, I was loved on by my kiddo, went to a great service at a new church, lounged with my family, had my Mom over for a very Springy lunch complete with Mimosa's, and then put together my mega composter that the guys got me. They know me so well. :) I just love that they both have hopped on the compost making wagon!

Last thing I did in the garden last night was to pull the last haul of Spring Carrots. We got some big ones and some tiny ones and loads in between. I used a "stubby" variety this time, the longest one grew to be about 6 inches long, but some of them sure are fat! The newly opened up bed space is going to be filled with watermelon and pumpkin seedlings today. I can't wait!

In the mean time I have some carrot processing to do. :)

One Mega May Goal completed

2010-05-08T17:59:00.000-05:00

This weekend was supposed to be all about painting the ceiling and remaining walls but that isn't happening yet. :)

Instead I tackled our linen closet and ended bagging up a TON of pillows, old down comforters and a massive feather bed all for the trash. Now before you get all over me about donating them, seriously, NO ONE would want these. I don't even know why I was holding on to them.

At one point the upstairs hallway was stacked with the pile of pillows I pulled out of our tiny closet, 9 of them!! Why? I just keep asking myself that. So I tossed the gross ones, the ripped ones, the uncomfortable ones, and had the guys each pick one pillow for me to store in the closet for future use. I then promptly shoved those "to keep" pillows into a vacuum seal bag with a dryer sheet and stored them away. Yay!

I also took the time to go through all our towels and set aside all the ripped, frayed or stained towels to donate to the Animal Shelter. I would like to slowly switch all our towels over to All White. We are hard on towels and stains are inevitable, so being able to bleach them would be awesome. I figure as we wear out a towel I can just replace it with a new white one from Costco.

I have one non-white weakness though, Pool Towels! These I love to have in the brightest craziest patterns. I saw one at Target a couple months ago that was of goldfish, I still wish I had snagged it up. :)

So one measly mega May Goal down, tons more to go!